This tweet started it.

@sargsyanz wrote, “My favorite exam finding in hospitalized patients: ‘Multiple family members at bedside.’”

Then I said, “My favorite exam finding is ‘Head: Normocephalic, atraumatic.’”

From @jbsingh1: “AB/AN for averagely built and averagely nourished” [Note: We used to say “WD/WN” meaning well-developed, well-nourished.

@dakaufman123: “’no C/C/E’ for no cyanosis, clubbing, or edema. As [if] high clubbing appears from one day to the next.”

@Blitz_y: “My favorite thus far has been ‘Surgeries: c-section (unsure of date)’”

@RogovtTed: “Presents to emergency department with two suitcases, packed.”

@KtMcH: “’External genitalia unremarkable, appropriate for age.’ Literally can mean anything. Piercings, tattoos, hair patterns, size, shapes, ANYTHING.”

@junghoon_son: “MD one liner from an older ICU attending on the very first line of note: ‘Patient is doing poorly.’ It was so refreshing after notes and notes of auto-filled meds and labs.”

@RhythmDoc01: “Of course, my genuine all-time favorite note began ‘Patient encountered naked, screaming obscenities, slightly bleeding from multiple human bite marks but not otherwise in apparent physical distress. Further history and physical examination deferred.’”

Finally, these five from @honestlyboxey:

“Wife reports patient has a black belt in karate and would like all caregivers to know as he is highly skilled even with medication and sedatives.”

“This physician’s hands were sanitized prior to entering patient’s room and upon exiting patient’s room.”

“Cannot remember what he had for dinner last night. (Patient had pizza)”

“However, to become a guardian angel, they told her she had to pass various tests. Among the tasks was doing a back flip on furniture. Hence, today.”

“Allergies: Aspirin. Per pt, ‘F***s me up.’”

 

Skeptical Scalpel is a retired surgeon and was a surgical department chairman and residency program director for many years. He is board-certified in general surgery and a surgical sub-specialty and has re-certified in both several times. For the last 8 years, he has been blogging at SkepticalScalpel.blogspot.com and tweeting as @SkepticScalpel. His blog has had more than 3,000,000 page views, and he has over 19,000 followers on Twitter.