Clean Hands: 12-Step Program

“I use so much alcohol-based hand sanitizer my hands had to join a 12-step program.”        

Connect the Dots…

“I don’t know what these dots are…but ya mind if I connect ‘em?”  

Your Patients

“I hope he wasn’t one of your patients…”        

Imagined Symptoms

“Impressive. You have the imagined symptoms of a man twice your age.”                  

Can You Prescribe a Porsche?

“I need something to make me feel better. Can you prescribe a Porsche?”    

Employee Wellness Campaign Cartoon

“We’re having a big meeting today to kick off our Employee Wellness Campaign. Did anyone remember to bring in soda and donuts?”          

Second Opinion

“No, I don’t need a  second opinion from  your smart phone.”                                

Like a Duck

“You look like a duck, you walk like a duck, you smell like a duck … I’m gonna refer you to a specialist.”        

Tails, You Take a Baby Aspirin


Cancel All Appointments

“Cancel all appointments!”    

The Computer is Sick Too…

“I ran all your symptoms through the computer, and now the computer is sick too.”


“This is a common procedure. So to keep things interesting, I’m going to attempt it blindfolded.”

A Little Pinch

“You’ll feel a little pinch, then another pinch, and then a few more because I’m pretty bad  at this.”  


“When I said ‘cough’ I meant you, not him!”                      

Green Thumb

“It’s green all right, but it’s not because you’re a gardener. Let’s get you into surgery.”  

Pirate Cartoon

“Arrrr, matey… I wish we had better healthcare options, too.”  

Too Much Turkey

“Ye are not having a heart attack. Ye just ate too much turkey.”

Santa’s Cholesterol – Cartoon

“Mr. Claus, I’m putting you on a strict diet. Your cholesterol is, like a million.”

Jack O’Lantern & Cosmetic Surgeon

Jack O’Lantern Visits the Cosmetic Surgeon

So far all I’ve found is…

“So far, all I have found is a pair of gloves, and a wrist watch from the previous operation!”

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